The Dad He Didn't Have To Be...
but oh so glad he did
I do not talk about how my dad came into my life. Or the fact that he was not actually there on day one. Most days I forget that, and it feels like he has always been there and possibly that is because from the first time I remember him he has never NOT been there. Never. Not Once. He has ALWAYS been there.
While I will never be sure or know why or how he decided to choose me and when I say chose me, I mean all three of us and a cat. Of course, there is a cat. There have always been cats. But he did and I am for certain my life is a million times better for it and I know we do not recognize that enough nor talk about the incredible impact he has had on us all.
My first true memory of him is him just being there and him and my mom giving me my first cat. Guess what, it was a black cat. Named Shamu. The irony is not lost on me as I write this. Especially now as his beloved cat Muffin has recently abandoned him for me and now has the impossible decisions of who’s lap, he will occupy at any given moment. But who is also dutifully making sure I get this right.
My dad taught me to ride a bike, which was after he bought me my first bike. That was in fact a boy’s bike. I liked the blue one and the checkered pads, but I also wanted a basket. Guess what a pink basket can in fact go on a blue bike. Oh, to be a kid of the 80’s. Now the fact that I did not know how to ride a bike at the age of 6 was perhaps a bit concerning but then again, I’d never had a bike, nor had I been taught so yes there I was with my training wheels learning how to ride down his driveway with him alongside me. At this time, we lived down the street, in my kid brain it was close, my adult brain knows it is a ¼ mile. Plus Shamu would run alongside us as we drove the short distance; so again it was close in my kid brain for a cat to be able do that, but we still drove? See the confusion.
That was just the first of the many of hundreds of things he has taught me over the years. He has taught me how to use tools, how to sod a backyard, fix a leaky sink, caulk a tub, how to paint the “right” way hence the newly painted room. As of this he has yet to see my handy work. He taught me how to check the oil in my car, the tire pressure, and how to change an air filter & tire and then some. Now, while I know how to do these things because of him he will literally jump up at the mention of said thing needing checked and will check it and the next thing I know my car has had a full tune up. He has always regularly checked my oil for long road trips, something he still does today. He has taught me how to be capable in more ways than one. He has taught me the value of hard work and enjoying what you do. He has taught me not to settle and that good men do not leave and that anything I have ever needed a man for I can do it as I am as capable as he has made me and taught me to be.
My dad is by far the hardest working person I know. Who also loves what he does. I don’t think he will ever retire; he would be bored out of his mind. His hard work was the reason that every year growing up we went on spring break and travelled to places like Mexico, Florida, California, New York. We got to tag along on his work trips through Wyoming, Colorado, & Utah. I got to see what was outside of my small home town long before most. Because of my Dad he made it all possible and still does today for mine and Ida’s lil adventures. Even though on the long road trips his go to was “just a half hour more” in fact it was not just a half hour more not ever. Not even today. His work ethic is awe-inspiring and I only hope I have an ounce of that in me.
I can look back and there is not an event or a critical time in my life that he was not there. Gymnastics there he was in a sea of moms waiting and watching. Soccer he was there as I proudly ran across the field for the first time with A. Mann on the back of my jersey. Five letters I will never get tired of seeing or proud of displaying as it was a name given to me out of love not because he had to. As A. Mann was called into the gate to race down the ski hill, who was there? My Dad. When I was showing hogs in FAA who was out there in the muck with me you guessed it and he was there the day to walk me down the aisle that one time I got married but was also there when it ended and paid for me and my stuff to move out to be near the rest of the family. The number of times this man has moved me at this point it too high to count but he will drive a U-Haul any time anywhere. He has always provided a roof over my head when I needed one or when it was the best option. I will forever be grateful for always having a home and a place to call home. Yes, he has been there for all the surgeries, all the school things, the animal things, the life things, and the family things. ALL OF IT!
His love of animals is most likely the reason I have always been able to invade his home with any animal I have ever brought home over the years. From cats, dogs, rabbits, ducks, birds, guinea pigs and more dogs. Okay, the pigs and sheep stayed elsewhere. But he has always been right there cleaning up after them, feeding them and building them homes and secretly okay not so secretly loves them as much as they all adore him. My love of animals is shared and partially encouraged by him.
When I tell you that my name means more to me than any one thing my dad has ever given me, okay maybe the cat. I mean it from the bottom of my heart. The day I got to officially have his name, I do not remember or recall any specifics. Phil our lawyer was there but then again, he was also my friend’s dad…so not scary lawyer. At the end of it I got to print my name just as I had been wanting to for years and did not have to explain who he was, he was now just Dad. My Dad. It wouldn’t be until my 30’s that I would learn the adult version and what had to happen for my sister and I to officially get the last name Mann. When I told my mom I wanted to have his last name too when I was 11. I had no understanding of what I was asking, nor would I know for years what transpired away from child ears. But knowing he fought alongside my mom for us and to know he wanted what I was asking and stepped up every time in every way makes the name all that more significant. I will never be able to fully express how it has made me better and an honor to get to be A. Mann and to be his daughter every day and to know that he chooses me every time always. I am truly the luckiest girl in the world to have the Dad who chose me.
This is absolutely beautiful!